don't hate yourself

I speak a lot to the idea of discipline. I honestly feel it gets a bad rap. When we think of discipline we tend to think of a punishment, getting a spanking or something equally as grueling. But as I’ve grown and continue to develop both myself and my enterprise, I find the need for more discipline. Not less. I find that I aim to have more structure and a greater sense of routines and successful habits than the desire I once had to be “free.”

Discipline is an important factor to our success, as it is through discipline that we develop the grit and consistency to sustain ourselves long enough to make our goals our reality.

What is discipline?  My version says it means to do what you are supposed to do despite how you feel. But for shits and giggles I looked up the actual definition and it implies that it means to “train oneself to do something in a controlled and habitual way.” Discipline is what it takes to separate our thoughts from our actions. We are, after all, a product of what we DO not what we think. And while affirmative and positive thinking certainly has their place in the success formula, nothing beats pure and simple action. Seriously, nothing shifts your mindset faster than the act of doing.

So I found it interesting (and motivating) when Will Smith made the connection between loving yourself and your ability to be disciplined. Just think about it. Think about any goals you have and ask you if you love yourself enough to see it through.  You want to lose weight. Do you love yourself enough to not have that slice of pizza? You want to start that business. Do you love yourself enough to invest in a class instead of heading to the club? You want to buy that new home. Do you love yourself enough to save your Starbucks money?

Really, discipline, when properly applied is a form of self-love.  How much do you love yourself? Are you willing to do what’s in your best interest over what’s easiest?

As you head into this next year, undoubtedly you have some things you want to accomplish. You may have written them down or posted photos on your vision board. You’ve had conversations with friends and loved ones. You have given yourself pep talks in the shower…Or is that just me? You want to take it to the next level.

So consider every time you default to doing what is easiest and what you have always done over what you set out to intentionally do, you are diminishing your capacity to love yourself. My advice: Don’t hate yourself. Do right by you this year. I’m rooting for you.


  1. I’m waking up to this message and it’s exactly what I needed. I’m not feeling good about what I didn’t accomplish last year even though I attended several workshops, invested in coaching sessions, outlined a plan for a product/service. You are correct. Discipline is key. I need to be disciplined in my goals (I’m disciplined in other things) while also being in “survival mode”. Survival mode is actually distracting me. I’m feeling overwhelmed right now. Sooo much to do but very little money to move forward. I’ve got to decide on my top three goals for January.

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